Will I bond with my baby at birth?

That special moment when you and your baby first meet each other.


You have probably thought and dreamt about it many times while waiting for your baby’s arrival.


Some mothers feel an instant love for their baby at birth. Others take weeks or months to feel love for their baby. There is no ‘right’ time to feel a connection with your baby. It takes time to get to know each other. As you kiss, cuddle, feed, and talk to your baby, you will feel more connected and attached to each other. Bonding takes time. It can start in pregnancy, continues after birth, develops in the first year and continues for a lifetime.


Our society expects all mothers to feel maternal, just because they’re women and have given birth. When the media (movies, magazines, television or online) portrays new mothers, it’s often either instant love or postnatal depression. Real life isn’t always like that and there’s plenty of normal in between. Sometimes 6 seconds. Sometimes 6 months.


There’s no evidence to show that if you don’t have ‘instant’ love and connection with your baby it will affect your long term relationship. It won’t impact your ability to breastfeed and your baby will still love you.


Instead of feeling pressure to be like other mothers, surround yourself with supportive, loving, non-judgmental family and friends. Rest, spend time getting to know your baby, feel confident to mother your baby your way. Do what brings you peace and joy in postpartum. You will bond with your baby in your own time and way.

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